The Panty Party
by HazylShy
Summary: A boring day unleashes the mischevious sides of Jacob and Seth. Dare they go there? Oh, yes they do. My first story, Rated M for language and innuendos. If you're looking for a Jacob/Seth pairing, you should move on, cuz you won't find it here.


**Okay. This is my very first story I have ever posted on . My friends really liked this story, and I hope you guys do too, so here goes. I'm sorry if the summary sucked. I'll work on it. Anyways. I would so greatly appreciate any feedback you have for me. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, it wouldn't have ended the way it did. Those were Stephanie Meyer's mistakes.**

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_**The Panty War**_

_Starring Jacob and Seth_

_~Sup, jay_

_~? Wut the hell?_

_~Wut?_

_~Y r u texting me, seth?_

_~Y shudnt i?_

_~Mmm, idk, ur just sittin in the chair across the room from me._

_~Ha, I kno. Um just rele bored. Is that a crime?_

_~Man, you are dummer than a sloth on crack._

_~ XD_

_~Lol im bored 2. Do something painful for my entertainment._

_~ -_- srry, Jake, ur alpha power don't run that deep._

_~Well, hell, it shud. _

"This is so _boring_!" Seth complained, throwing his phone onto the couch. "I swear to God, this is the most boring town ever."

"Not true," Jacob countered. "Deerwood, Minnesota. My aunt lives there. Trust me; I actually know what I'm talking about this time."

"Or anywhere in Iowa."

"Ah, yes, I forgot about Iowa."

"Most of us do."

They were quiet for a while longer, both looking around at nothing.

"Well," Jacob spoke up. "What do you do when you're home alone and ridiculously bored?"

"I dunno . . . internet porn?"

"Y'know, everybody thinks you're the innocent one."

"Y'know, everybody also thinks I'm a virgin, but, yet again, they are quite wrong."

"You are such a bullshitter."

"Don't believe me? Talk to Allie Taylor," Seth replied with a mischievous smirk.

"No way!" exclaimed Jacob, straightening up in his chair. "You _did_ Allie Taylor?"

"More than once."

_"Lucky!"_

"She was my first."

Jacob scoffed. "No fair. My first sucked."

"I thought you had that dancer chick?"

"Like I said, it sucked. She was terrible. It was embarrassing! I lied to the guys and told them it was great, but . . . ugh."

"Ah, it's no big deal. Leah's got way more embarrassing secrets."

"It's not necessarily a _secret_, just not something I talk about a lo – embarrassing secrets? Like what?"

"Like the first time she used her vibrator; where she keeps it; who she thinks about when she uses it. Gross stuff like that."

Jacob eyed him in disbelief. "Oh, please. She doesn't tell you any of this. You're making it up."

"No, really! She doesn't tell me, it's in her – Oh, man!"

"What?"

Seth sprang up from the recliner he sat in. "Jacob, I know what we're gonna do today!"

"You are so weird."

"Dude, we're gonna go read Leah's diary."

_"No way!_ The girl already hates me, why the hell would I want to do something stupid like that? That's like suicide on a stick, and suicide is never a good thing. Not even when it's on a stick; and _everything_ is good on a stick."

"Thank you, Jose Jalapeño," Seth said, dryly.

"Besides, the last time you convinced me to doing something stupid, we got suspended._ 'C'mon, Jake, let's skip class and go smoke weed on the roof! It's our first time, we won't get in trouble!'_ Fuckin' dipshit."

"Hey, a week's suspension was like a slap on the wrist. They didn't even press charges. Wanna know why? 'Cause _it was our first time. _And you can't say you didn't like it, , we really won't get caught, I promise. I do this all the time. Besides, who's here to catch us? Leah's at the mall with Rachel and Emily. The three of them together could shop all freaking day. Besides, you know you wanna know what she does with her vibrator . . ." Seth added, manipulation coating his voice.

Jacob really did wanna know, though. Just the thought of Leah pleasing herself gave him ideas . . . Before he could comprehend making the decision, he was up and following Seth to Leah's room. He stood in the doorway for a moment, pondering whether or not he wanted to risk it, but then those thoughts about the vibrator came back.

_I wonder what color it is . . . How big is it? Who does she think about? Has she ever thought about . . . me?_

"Here it is," said Seth. He snapped Jacob out of his thoughts, and Jake was slightly confused when Seth held up a book instead of a sex toy.

_Right. We came here for the book. What _I _wanna know will be _in_ the book._

He sat down on Leah's bed and slowly took in his surroundings. He had never been in Leah's room before. Or even seen it. It was so _Leah_. The walls were red with black borders and were covered in various band posters. He didn't know she was such a rocker, but her walls revealed that her favorite bands were Fall Out Boy, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, and Paramore. There was also an entire wall dedicated to Lady Gaga. Her desk in the corner, at which Seth sat, had miscellaneous stuff all over it; papers, CDs, books, magazines, and her computer was on a full moon screensaver. Her floor was covered in clothes. Her bedspread was black and soft, with red pillows that had feathers on the ridges.

There was only one picture in the entire room, sitting on her bedside table. It was them, their little pack. It was taken just a couple weeks ago at a bonfire. There was Seth and Quil on one side, both holding Embry up in a laying-down style and all three grinning big. Next to them was Jake, their Alpha. He had his arm casually slung around Leah's shoulder (he would never tell her how great that felt to him), while she shoved a piece of a cupcake in his face. Her smile was bright, something you didn't see often with Leah. In the corner of the picture was scribbled, "Seth, Quil, Embry, Jake, and me. Our little family."

This made Jacob smile.

"Okay," Seth started, jerking Jacob out of his reverie again. "You ready?"

"Why am I even doing this? If she finds out we were in here, she's gonna kick our asses. Don't you think she hates me enough already?"

"Actually," Seth chuckled. "She doesn't hate you as much as you think. Your name's in here quite often. Almost as much as Sam's used to b-"

Jacob bolted up and snatched the book from Seth's hands. He flipped through the pages and came to rest on one where Leah had doodled hearts and stars and other things on the outside edges. The page read;

_October 25_

_Tomorrow is my Alpha's birthday. Everyone has this huge party planned for him, since he's turning 18. I think I heard Jared and Paul and Embry talking about one of those strip clubs. I think it's ridiculous. Why is it that every time a guy turns 18, his friends feel the need to take him to a strip club? Us girls, we just party and smoke cigarettes. Ha, on my 18__th__ birthday, me and Rachel and Rebecca drove around flashing people, just because I was officially old enough to go to jail for indecent exposure! Anyways, I think it's stupid for them to bring Jake to a strip club. I don't think he'd like it. He just doesn't seem like that kinda guy. Besides, they're just a bunch of skanks anyways. He could get the same thing for free, and a lot cleaner, if he got himself a girl. I shouldn't say that . . . Christ Rachel was a stripper for a while. Why do I even care? It's none of my business._

_Correction, Leah; Rachel was an exotic dancer. Big difference._

Jacob remembered his birthday all too well. The guys, Paul, Jared, Embry, Emmett, Jasper, even Sam, all took me to a gentlemen's club in Seattle called La Chic. It was pretty fancy. Low lights, leather booths, good food, and _mad hot_ dancers. As much as his dad hated the whole idea, he agreed to pay him his allowance (forty bucks) in singles.

He continued on to the next page.

_October 27_

_JACOB BLACK IS SUCH A DUMBASS. _

_Wow, _Jacob thought. _That's mean._

_Oh my God, this is crazy. He slept with one of them. Jacob slept with a freaking stripper. He like knew her from school or something and I guess they liked each other or whatever, so she took him home! She said it was his birthday present. "Happy fucking birthday, Jacob! As a birthday gift, I'd like to take your virginity." Well, it made my present (a fucking iPod Touch, for Christ's sake!) look like shit. It was like the highest amount of gigabytes. Not to mention all the iTunes cards I bought that sorry son of a bitch. That fucking thing cost me almost my entire fucking paycheck. Fucking stripper. And how dare she take Jacob's virginity! Someday he's gonna meet the girl of his dreams and what's he gonna have to give to her? Nothin'. This is why I don't trust strip clubs. Or most other girls. What I'm trying to understand is why I even care? It's not like I have any right to Jacob or anything. I'm not his girlfriend or anything. It just means I care, right? And therein lies my problem. I care. Possibly too much? More than I thought? Idk. Maybe I'm actually starting to . . . dare I say it? I dasn't. Ok, I'll say it. Maybe I like Jake. Like, *like* him. Ugh, this is all so HIGH SCHOOL! I'm 21! But I won't say anything. I refuse. I will not ruin the friendship I've developed. I don't trust a lot of people, but I trust him and he trusts me. No way in hell I'm gonna fuck this up._

Jacob smiled big.

"What are you smiling about?" asked Seth, noticing the grin on Jacob's face.

"You're sister likes me," Jake replied.

"Oh, yeah, I knew that."

"How come you never told me?" Jacob flipped a few pages over and laughed out loud.

_SETH_

_STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM. I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD, IF I FIND OUT YOU WERE IN HERE READING THIS AGAIN, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER HAVE CHILDREN._

_Love Always, Lee._

Jacob showed Seth the page.

"Yeah, that's why," Seth said. "She found out and made me swear. Y'know, her Beta Command is just as powerful as your Alpha. I imagine you're the only one who wouldn't be fazed by it."

"I didn't read anything about the vibrator," Jacob stated.

"That's because you're not looking in the right spot. Gimme it, I'll find it. I've read this entire thing a bunch of times."

Jacob wandered around as Seth flipped through Leah's journal. He decided to play detective and find out more about Leah by checking out her room. She had an entire vanity set in the corner, which was full of makeup she never used anymore. Her closet was stocked full of stuffed animals rather than clothes. That got him wondering, _What happened to all the nice clothes Leah used to wear? _

He moved to her dresser and curiously opened a drawer.

"Here," said Seth. "she keeps it in the –"

"Top drawer," Jacob finished. He'd opened the drawer and there it lay. He debated whether he should touch it. If she saw that it had been disturbed, she'd murder Seth, if not both of them. Curiosity got the better of him and he gingerly picked it up by the base.

"Oh, my God," said Seth. "Is that it? _Sick! _That is so ultimately gross."

"No kidding," said Jake, examining it with a slightly sickened look on his face. "I've never seen one before."

"I've never tried to actually find hers. I don't think I ever want to see one ever again."

"Girls actually use these things?" he asked. "Why don't they just use _us_? Look at this! It's competition! We can't live up to this! No matter how hard I try, I cannot make my dick vibrate. Why do they have to get these? Just call. I'm available to be helpful; that's how I was raised."

He wished Leah _would_ use him. He'd always liked her. Even when he went through his "I love Bella Swan" phase. He put the toy back. Underneath it lay Leah's underwear; and assortment of mostly thongs, but with a few pairs of boy shorts and girl briefs. He hesitantly picked up a lacy black g-string with a plastic silver heart for the back piece.

_Sexy, _he thought. He put those down and picked up a pink thong that had a little red rose on the front. He glanced at Seth, an idea forming in his head.

"Check this out, Jake, this is from last week," Seth began to read from the book again. _"'Jacob is so freaking hot! I can't stay away from him. I think we'd be perfect together, if only he didn't go around flirting with every skank in the state. As far as I'm concerned, unless he imprints, Jacob Black belongs to me.' _Man, Jake, she's really got the hots for y – AH!" he shrieked when the pink thong hit him square in the face.

Jacob doubled over in laughter before hooking another thong on his thumb and finger like a slingshot and flinging it at Seth. This one stuck to his head and he screamed, trying to get it off.

"That's gross, dude! Those are my sister's!"

Jacob continued to laugh until Seth stomped over to him and shoved a pair of boy shorts onto his head. Jacob, in turn, got Seth into a headlock while he got a g-string around his neck.

"Take that, bitch!" he cried with a smirk. When Seth got out of the headlock, it became an all-out panty war. Each were throwing panties at each other and stringing them around each other's necks. Seth had grabbed a tube of bright red lipstick from Leah's vanity and pinned Jacob to the ground while he put the lipstick on his lips, and eventually all over his face because Jacob wouldn't stop flailing around trying to get away. Jacob yelled and cursed as Seth wrote "I heart Leah" all over his face and chest.

"Yeah! How'dya like that, Oh, Mighty Alpha?" said Seth. Jacob eventually rolled him off, jumping up and grabbing the vibrator. He slowly moved toward Seth, who was backing up quickly. "Don't you dare," he said. "Don't even think – "

But Jacob was already done thinking. He pounced, tackling Seth to the ground and straddling his chest. He held Leah's vibrator dangerously close to Seth's face. "C'mon, Seth!" he teased, cruelly, with a twisted smile on his lips. "It's just a fake dick, that's all!" He touched it to Seth's left cheek and Seth screamed.

_"Get it off! GET IT OFF!" _

Jacob just laughed. He continued this for a good five minutes until –

"_What is going on here?"_

The boys froze, turning their heads towards the door, where an enraged Leah stood, shopping bags in hand.

"Um, we, uh," Jacob stuttered. Suddenly he saw the awkward position he and Seth were in; him on top of Seth with a dildo in his face. "This isn't what it looks like."

"What are you two doing in h – " she took notice of the whole situation, including the object in Jacob's hand. "Is that my vi . . . why are my underwear around your necks?" Then she saw the open book that had been thrown onto her bed during the panty war. She was utterly livid. _"Get out." _

They scrambled up, quickly removing her panties from their necks and throwing them on her bed. Seth practically ran past her, out her door and into his own room. "You stay," she said fiercely, pushing Jacob back as he tries to pass her.

"Seth told me to, I swear. It wasn't my idea, it was all him, all of it. I swear to God."

"Oh, thanks, jackass!" Seth yelled from his room.

Leah slammed her door shut and dropped her bags. "So, going on panty raids for entertainment now, Jacob? Kinda low, don't you think? A bit sleazy."

Jacob kept his eyes down, too embarrassed to look at her.

"I see you found my toy," Leah said, picking it up from the floor and throwing it on top of the pile of panties on her bed. "I'll have to find a better hiding spot, now, I guess. Why do you have 'I heart Leah' written on you in lipstick?"

"Seth, again . . . Um, aren't you mad at me?"

"_Do_ you heart me?" she asked sweetly. He wondered if this was a trap and hesitated a bit before answering, but thought it best to be entirely honest. "Yes."

She stepped closer to him. "Are you just saying that so I won't kick your ass, like you deserve?"

"Yes and no. I really don't wanna get my ass kicked . . . but I do love you." _There. I said it. Happy, God? _

She smiled, getting close and snaking a hand around his neck. "Then I guess I'm not _too_ upset." She yanked his face down to hers, her face fierce. "But if you ever come in here and mess with my stuff again, I will beat you senseless; understand, Black?" he nodded vigorously. "Good."

Her face was soft again as she pulled him for a sweet, slow kiss; the best he'd ever had in his life.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go deal with my brother."

Jacob was still coming down off his high from the kiss, and was so distracted that the screams coming from Seth's room as Leah unleashed her fury didn't faze him one bit.

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**Soooo... What did you think? I wanted to play Seth off as kind of a closet bad boy, as you may have noticed in the beginning. Let me know what you thought of that. If I made a mistake, I'd like to know. So, you read the story, now why dont'cha go on ahead and press that there little review button? Much love!**

**~SchnarfBlack~**


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